"We will help make sure your mom gets involved in the daily activities"

One of the things that is frustrating about many of these senior facilities is that they tell you things when you are touring the facility and make promises to you and then when you actually move in some of those things do not happen. One of the reasons we moved facilities was so that there would be more activities and happenings going on so my mom would get out of her room and get more stimulation as well as be around other people.

We explained that the current facility had only a few activities and not much in the way of outside people coming in or activities that got residents involved. The salesperson talked all about the activities they offered and told me that the caregivers would offer to bring my mom down to them everyday and even nudge her to go when she said no. She even talked all about wanting my mom to be around some younger more alert residents even though she would be on a more assistance based floor. She told me she would make sure they got her interacting with people on the other floors. That has not happened at all.

Even though my mom would often say no I don't want to go, when she went she actually enjoyed the time. Older people can get depressed being in their room and start to feel like they don't want to leave it. My mom can't do a lot of activities without assistance which makes it more of a challenge which was why we needed the help.

My mom can play BINGO if

someone helps her with the chips. She can always go and listen to a musical group sing or play instruments. However, whenever I go over to see her and something is happening in the lobby she is never there. I ask her why and she says I didn't feel like it. I go and look for a caregiver to ask about it and can rarely find one. If the caregivers do not have time to remind residents about activities and to actually bring some of them to them then the sales team should not tell you that will happen when you are touring. These places need to promise things that they can actually deliver. It may seem like no big deal to them but for my mom it is her only source of interaction each day other than a few visitors here and there.

Make sure that when you visit these places you ask what they will do and how they will do it. Ask them what to do when it does not happen. Who should you talk to? Do this BEFORE it happens so you have a plan in place. We pay a lot of money to have our loved ones in these places and we deserve to get everything they promise and everything they need.