Updated: Aug 22, 2019
I always think to myself it must be so difficult for my mom to be so needy for everything. She can't eat anything unless someone helps her. That means she can't grab a handful of popcorn or unwrap a piece of candy. She needs assistance for most things.She can't turn the tv channel or adjust the volume currently although Alexa is helping solve that problem:) What I notice the most about my mom is that she never wants to bother anyone. We pay several thousand dollars for her to receive assistance for these things. We have her where she is so that she can ask someone all day long to do things for her that she can't do herself. Yet my mom constantly doesn't ask for the help or tries to do things herself because she says she doesn't want to bother anyone.
Yesterday I got a call that she fell in the bathroom and was in a lot of pain. I rushed over to see how she was and find out how she could have fallen in the bathroom since she doesn't use the bathroom without assistance. When I got there she said her tailbone was very sore and that she had fallen in the bathroom. I asked her to explain what happened because I couldn't understand why she would have been in the bathroom alone. She said she wanted a piece of her candy bar. She was able to somehow get it in her hands by clasping her arms together. She got it the bar onto her lap but the chocolate got all over her pants and she wanted to move it off her lap to not ruin her clothing but didn't want to drop it on the carpet. If she dropped it on the carpet they would have to send someone to come clean it and she would get charged a fee. So she moved her wheel chair into the bathroom to let it fall on the hard floor and while she was there thought she should try and get some wipes to clean it up.
I asked why she didn't just ring for someone. She said she did but that the staff was very short-handed today and she didn't want to bother anyone. I am so frustrated by the constant "we are short handed today" thing I could scream. I am more upset that she feels bad asking the staff to do their job so that she remains safe. Instead she fell and luckily did not seriously injure herself because she didn't want to bother the staff.
I understand that some of this may be here own issues that can't be controlled but there must also be a sense of that from the caregivers if she constantly feels like a bother. I want these caregivers to understand the importance of reminding elderly people that they are there to help them. The are there to help them with anything anytime. I can't imaging what it is like to be helpless in many ways in your daily life and then also feel like a bother to the people there to help you.